question meme???

[devotedtothecore]

(I WILL BE MORE ON THE BALL ON THIS ONE, I SWEAR TO GOD)

Ask me anything about my characters, general player stuff, general RP stuff, etc etc etc. You know the drill! ...and by "my characters" it's really just "Chrys in Thusia".

Comments

[thevineintervention]

TALK TO ME ABOUT CHRYS'S FEELINGS AND PONDERINGS ON WEREDOM both Aertas and his own hypothetical

[devotedtothecore]

OKAY NOW THAT I AM FINALLY GETTING TO THIS PLACE LIKE A WINNER, like a million shenanigans later

I think I ended up babbling some of this to you in chat anyway but going over it again. In general the idea of being a were (as it is looking more and more like to him, esp. after dragon rampage incident) is deeply uncomfortable to Chrys because it involves a potential loss/surrendering of self-control and awareness and consciousness and mind heart body etc to something else that is Not Him, even if it's only for moments. Even without the god-priest connotations attached it would be something that he would think a hundred times over before even considering entering into it-- that is, if he had the luxury to think about it (and it wasn't a snap life-or-death moment of BECOME A WERE OR SOMETHING HORRIBLE WILL HAPPEN IN 5 SECONDS kind of thing.) Because as we've established before, being conscious of himself, in control and driving the reins of his own will, is very important to him and something he has grown almost paranoid about holding on to, because so many circumstances and un-choices have been forced upon himself for so long that "I made the decision to do this deed this way" is one of the few bitter consolations he could hold onto. (And even then I'm pretty sure there were will-bending Games even in his time, too, which didn't help this at all.) He has had enough of things outside of him taking over his helm in any shape or form. This is not to say that he hasn't considered objectively the potential benefits of were (in terms of augmenting physical power, strength, abilities etc), or that he wouldn't feel better in some way if he did become one (because he might--emphasis on might-- then be able to better bridge/support to what Aerta has become/is becoming), but... he can't do it. It's too risky, it's putting himself even more into the hands of Another, another god-thing, another creature, and it is not the best path he could be taking in terms of moving forward. And now he knows he has enough trouble with his own mind as it is.

But that is his personal feelings on it, for himself. It's different for Aerta, because he understands that Aerta, unlike him, needs the kind of bond that the weredom offers-- that he can't fully empathize with because he is not and has never been a plantperson???-- the bond between self and the natural world, because that is so much a part of who she was and is and to not have that bond in this new world is a suffering for her and she would not be able to ever fully live in it if she could not find ground to root in. And he is conflicted! Because he was the one who encouraged her to try and live in this world, with him! And this is a step to that, unique to her needs and not his, and he could accept that even though the idea of priesting/attachment to Ygin (god and feargod) for her who has been kind of, you know, attached to a god already for so long, rustles his jimmies whenever he thinks about it. So he would support her decision however he could and keep an eye out for if/when things took a darker/Not Okay turn at the same time.

Which it looks like is starting to happen. 8|;;; And while he is still dealing with a lot of his own issues right now the knowledge that she actually has gone from having a part of the creature to becoming the creature and losing herself entirely (or so it was reported), plus the added discovery of someone like Gilgamesh taking advantage of that event and using her--- he is afraid. He is afraid of losing her entirely. She told him and he knows that walls ill suit her compared to forests and he does not want to keep her from them but to lose "Aerta" to whatever creature it is living in/with/becoming part of her, the possibility of it overwhelming her, will now be a very real possibility in his mind, because she is his most important thing that he still has.

I THINK THUSIA COULD USE A HAPPY/NICE THING HAPPENING SOON AFTER ALL THESE SHENANIGANS, do you have any thoughts on a potential event that would be actual fun/lighthearted encouragement for characters 8|a