actual tsundere chrysos kineas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
devotedtothecore) wrote2012-06-06 08:08 pm
devotedtothecore) wrote2012-06-06 08:08 pm
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1000 Comment Question Meme!!1
1K COMMENTS REACHED, and in hallowed RP tradition it is question meme time.
Ask me anything! Aboutmy characters Chrys, general player stuff, general RP stuff, etc etc etc. You know the drill.
Ask me anything! About
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!!!!
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Before Thusia-- before the Sacred City, even, much of what he thought of Aerta (when he did, which wasn't often unless reminded) was solely through the twin lenses of "Aeron's sister" and "Lacertan". Considering they met properly just once during that one trip to her end of the continent (half of which period he still can't really remember the details of), and the rest being secondhand accounts or remarks about her passed on by either one of their brothers... it was all too easy to just generalize and dismiss her as another "incomprehensible", "libertine", "hedonist" etc etc TYPICAL of her people (as stereotyped in Cephean lands). He was aware on some basic level that she had some purportedly special ability to heal and that was related to some bizarre god-tie-thing, which was why she didn't leave Lacerta's bounds and they had to go over there to see her instead, but that aspect kind of took bottom rung to the jarring contrast that her culture was to him (to put "8T feelings" politely). But at the very least it was clear that she was dear to Aeron, and vice versa, and for that alone he was inclined to be a fraction more patient with her than he would be with most others. And like Aeron, while he didn't like her, he knew enough about her work to respect her. But in general she didn't really register on a personal relationship level to him at the time.
And then the sun exploded and things went underground, and suddenly gods were a lot more real and what was left of the world's people were in a much smaller place. And Chrys had the chance to cross paths with her more often, and there was that fridge horror moment of realization about not only the extent of her power but also the conditions under which it came... and his feelings took a 180, because suddenly everything he knew of her was colored in that light of did she even really have a say in those things at all or maybe that was the only thing she had control over in her life. And that was just. Deeply disturbing, and he couldn't fathom what that was like for her to keep living, and it was hard to rein in that feeling of. Couldn't she just once--? Was there no time limit to that bond? He would look at her sometimes and feel a strange ache inside (that was usually pretty rapidly defused/distracted from by Shenanigans that jacked up ChrysFacing to 11.) But she seemed to have so much faith... or was it resignation? He could never tell. But because of that he kept what questions he had to himself, because it was something she had already come to terms with, and he didn't need to make it more difficult than it already was.
After she disappeared, it was all he could hope for that she was resting peacefully somewhere. ...and when that was proven to be "the rock probably got her too", he buried it inside with all the other losses and just. Stopped thinking about her, like the others. Though it added yet another seed of resentment against the gods to his heart.
BLANK-ERA the only memories he got back were more to build that initial pre-Sacred City impression again, but. Through his time and bond with Aeron and how important she was to Aeron in his own memories and how much Aeron missed her... she was Aeron's "Red", the almost-idealized sibling and pillar of support that thankfully wasn't here in this place, this place where eventually there was no man or woman or child whose hands were not stained in blood. The one Aeron seemed to desperately want to see again. The one whose name was called at times in Aeron's nightmares, and whom "Gold" could not stand in for, anymore than Aeron could for Red. And so by horrible, horrible proxy she took on significance in Chrys's mind, too.
FAST FORWARD TO THUSIA in next comment
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IMMEDIATE IMPRESSIONS:
- aaaaaaaaaaaa familiar face that is actually the correct person aaaaaaa
- someone not a potential threat/likely to shank him
- aaaaaaaaaa it's Aeron's Aerta aaaaaaaa
Result: i-instant collapsing on '-' and just. DRAWING ALL THE SUPPORT FROM, and letting himself truly actually open up to and let his long-concrete guard down around and. Her letting him. He hasn't had anyone like that in a long time. A long, long time, and her merely existing was enough to just break right in and give that glimmer of a prospect that "...maybe... I don't have to do all the standing up on my own anymore."
A BIT LATER:
- important person important person important person
- Aeron isn't here but a not-Aeron is and. How. Does she even feel about that. ...let's not talk about it for now.
- she kind of immediately adopted him like a brother and he is just. He knows. He is not Aeron. But he can't bring himself to object, because by god he has been so goddamned lonely, in a murdercave where the people that were left were mad or empty shells of what they were, and Red isn't here, nor Aeron, or Spirea, no one else is, and would it really be so bad to treat each other as siblings would. So a brother he will be. Even though he hasn't been able to actually call her "sister" yet, because the word feels strange on the tongue.
When Ptou came to visit C:
- ....oh I guess she is no longer under Kolotha's bond
- why didn't I think about that before (maybe because he didn't notice her behaving any differently from what he used to know of her, at least superficially, also being wrapped up in a cocoon of his own trauma)
- come to think of it I haven't even been considering what she might be going through regarding that, and maybe
- maybe she needs someone to listen to her right now, too
And then that conversation happened and it was... his turn. His turn to be someone she could lean on and be sad and by god, he couldn't even say "don't blame yourself for the things you did as Kolotha's tool", because it didn't feel like something he could say and truly mean, because... can you really not hold yourself accountable for something like that? At all? And it pissed himself off thinking about it, and he kept it all in his heart, and just. Tried to help her. Realized she needed help now that the world she had always known had crumbled under her feet and disappeared on levels he never experienced.
And then this Gilgamesh thing:
- ........light, she's incredibly exploitable right now by potential douchebags
- I mean there's a probability that she'll just end up looking for someone to tell her what to do like a replacement Kolotha-thing, because Free Will Is Hard for someone who's never known it for ages, and what if that replacement is a manipulative douchebag
- .......this Gilgamesh sounds like a douchebag and a charismatic one
- one who wants to just up and kill gods
- 8| 8| 8|
HE IS CONCERNED. DEEPLY. Not only because the last thing he wants is for her to just fall back into a life of being the tool of someone else's will, but. He does not want to lose her. Period. And he has enough experience with being powerless before the might of gods that the prospect her supporting Gilgamesh in some possibly highly delusional/un-thought-out plan to butt heads with them is just. No. No, we are digging into this bullshit and finding out how bullshit it may or may not be, but it sounds like the kind that may end with her doom and. No.
It's selfish, and hypocritical in a way. Maybe she does want to doom herself. Maybe she does want to make the choice of not having to make choices. But he can't abide by it. At the very least not until he's sure she's honed a true will of her own. And even then, the fact remains: he doesn't want to lose her. She is the largest piece of what makes Thusia even a remotely passable afterlife for him.
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